Confessions of a Hungry Wedding Guest
Three months after I went vegan, I went to my great-aunt's wedding. At her wedding reception, I piled all of the veggie dishes on my plate, thinking they were vegan.
After I finished eating, my dad had to break the news that none of the vegetable dishes at the wedding were vegan because the mashed potatoes and green beans contained butter.
Moving forward, I did more research and came to discover that many veggie sides aren't vegan because they contain butter (dairy). That was very disappointing because that made eating out so much harder.
After learning that reality, I was gravely disappointed about some of the wedding menu options. At the most recent wedding I attended, I only had a vegan veggie patty for my entire meal, which was better than nothing. Another time, I brought a sack lunch just in case, and they only had green beans for me, which they set aside before adding the butter to the rest of them.
If you've ever been to a wedding as a vegan, you probably know the sinking feeling: everyone else is being served a beautiful plated dinner, and you're left wondering if bread rolls and side salad are your only options.
I've been there, and trust me—it's not fun. Honestly, they are often labeled as "vegan" options, but many dinner rolls contain eggs and dairy, while side salads typically include shredded cheese and non-vegan salad dressing.
Over time, I have learned how to not go hungry at wedding receptions, and the good news is that you can too. With a bit of planning (and a dash of politeness), it's entirely possible to enjoy a filling, festive, plant-based meal while celebrating the love of your family and friends.
Ready to make sure you never leave a wedding hungry again? Let's dive into my best strategies for getting vegan meals at weddings.
Lock in Your Vegan Options Before the Vows
The saying goes that if you don't plan, you can't complain. To receive vegan meal accommodations at the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, you must request them in advance, unless otherwise specified.
Check the invitation for meal options.
Most of the time, you are going to go to a wedding of two people who don't have any allergies or dietary restrictions. Many of those weddings have their meals centered on meat because that's what the couple likes to eat.
The problem I've encountered in these scenarios is that the meal options typically consist of a couple of meat options, such as roast beef or salmon, and a kid's meal with items like chicken tenders and French fries.
I haven't seen any vegetarian or vegan options on a wedding menu, except for my older brother's. They had a vegetarian option because my sister-in-law was a vegetarian, and a vegan option for me.
Reach out to the couple early (polite, understanding tone).
Close friends and family should be aware that you're vegan before the event, but you might be surprised how easily that detail can be forgotten. You're one of hundreds of guests, so to ensure the proper accommodations on their special day, please provide advance notice of any requests outside of their menu choices.
Sometimes, the online RSVP option has a comment section for questions, concerns, medical conditions, and dietary restrictions. That's where I usually submit my request for a vegan accommodation at the wedding reception.
Request a vegan meal from the wedding couple.
Hi [First Names of Couple],
Thank you so much for inviting me to celebrate your big day. I’m truly honored to be part of such a special moment in your lives.
I wanted to mention a quick note about the reception meal. I follow a vegan lifestyle, which means I only eat plant-based foods. Would it be possible to have a vegan option for me at the wedding reception? If it helps, I’d be glad to share a few simple recipes or meal ideas with your caterer.
If that isn’t possible, I completely understand. I’d be more than happy to bring along a meal of my own instead. Please don’t worry about accommodating me if it adds any stress.
Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding. I’m looking forward to celebrating with you both!
Warmly,
[Your Name]
Talk to the caterer (if possible).
After the couple agrees to accommodate your vegan meal request (and not before), contact the caterer in advance of the wedding to ensure everyone is on the same page.
For example, I already know that I will have a vegan pizza at my younger brother's wedding next summer. Still, they were nice enough to ask on my behalf, as they're pretty familiar with how veganism works, given that I've been vegan for over eight years.
However, many people often confuse terms like vegetarian and vegan. To be on the safe side, I recommend contacting the caterer directly.
To make it very clear, make sure the wedding couple allows this interaction in the first place. You don't want to talk to them behind the couple's backs because that might cause you to get uninvited to their wedding, and that's not the goal here.
Many times, wedding websites list vendors in case other couples would like to use them for their wedding or other family and friends want to use them for another event. If that is the case, do a simple Google search to get their contact information online. If not, see if the wedding couple can provide the caterer's information.
Request a vegan meal from the wedding caterer.
Subject: Vegan Meal Request for [Couple’s Names] Wedding
Dear [Caterer's Name/Business],
I will be attending [Full Names of Couple]'s wedding on [Date] at [Venue] in [Town/City]. As I follow a vegan lifestyle (plant-based foods only), I was wondering if a vegan meal option would be available for me at the reception.
If that is not possible, that is understandable. I can bring my own meal instead. I just wanted to check in advance.
Thank you so much for your help.
Sincerely,
[Your Full Name]
Have a backup plan in case the vegan meal isn't adequate.
I've been to weddings before where the vegan meal options were slim or not that tasty.
For example, I was very hungry at my older brother's second wedding. (He had his actual wedding during Covid in 2020 and redid the wedding and had the full wedding reception in 2021.) I requested to change the vegan option to something other than ratatouille because that option was designated for me, and I didn't think I would like that meal option due to my particular aversion to condiments and sauces. I ended up being pretty hungry that night because I didn't like the main course.
Moving forward, I tend to have a backup plan in case the meal isn't according to plan. I tend to bring a protein bar, and that does the job until I eat a little more at home before bed. Please feel free to pick whatever food works best for you.
Leverage the reception buffet (if there is one).
I haven't had much success at wedding reception buffets. Typically, it's dinner rolls made with dairy and eggs, multiple meaty dishes, vegetable sides accompanied by butter, and desserts that also contain butter and eggs.
If you are lucky, look for a salad bar with no salad dressing on top of the salad, plain fruits and veggies, nuts, and tortilla chips with salsa or guacamole. Almost all warm dishes you will find most likely contain some meat, eggs, or butter unless the caterer tells you otherwise.
A Toast to Vegan Wedding Menu Options
At the top of my list of "useless" talents: I can scoop mashed potatoes twice as fast as the average person, and I can pop balloons in record time. At one fundraiser, I even helped plate food so quickly that the caterer half-jokingly offered me a job.
Those skills don't usually make much difference in everyday life, but at weddings, they come in handy—whether it's cleaning up the reception or gathering leftovers with lightning speed.
No matter how the food turns out—whether the vegan meal gets overcooked or you're lucky enough to bring some extra home—what matters most is the joy of the day. Weddings are about love, laughter, and being surrounded by family and friends.
So here's to celebrating progress, raising our glasses to more vegan options at weddings, and to a future where everyone has something delicious on their plate. Cheers!
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